The Wayward Butt-Bullet (Part 1)

English: A "tabooboo" sex toys vendi...

English: A “tabooboo” sex toys vending machine. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It promised to be one of those long, lonely nights and my libido was in overdrive. I had known that this could happen, so I had already equipped myself for a night of auto erotica with a huge purple dildo, a couple of cheap porno flicks (I refuse to pay good money for a TV station that I’m rarely going to watch) and I had treated myself to something I’d never used before: an amazing little butt-bullet!

You may ask yourself, how is it that someone who has so much sex with so many different partners could find herself in a position to need to procure such novelties? Yeah, I used to ask myself the same question! But the pendulum has swung back from abundance to lack so many times, that I rarely bother to ask anymore. It’s amazing that when you’re getting it, potential partners abound (I’ll never forget the time I had to do it with two different guys on the same night, within a matter of a few minutes of each other…but that’s another story.)

But when you have no one, no one is forthcoming! Believe me, I have studied the phenomenon. My conclusions are that it is all based on the phases of the moon, which I have lots of Dummy and Idiot Guide books about. But you’re probably not nearly as interested in that stuff as I am. Anyway, I was in the middle of one of those stints of going without a partner and since I had already been through this a number of unfortunate times, I made my way to my secret hiding place that I’d have to rummage through at least 4 or 5 days out of every month.

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