The Wayward Butt-Bullet (Part 3)

Face

Face (Photo credit: dominik18s)

Damn! I remembered now how I had been perusing the video section of the “forbidden” store about a month prior and how paranoia had nearly gotten the best of me. I mean, I’m an enlightened adult and everything, a true Aquarius; but it still seems pathetic to go into one of those sex stores alone. Not only do I feel pathetic for being there, I admit that I tend to look at others the same way.

It’s like you’re making a statement about yourself. A negative statement that you really don’t want to make. And you feel compelled to let the world know that you’re actually not as desperate as you look. You want to wear a sign that says, “My boyfriend is in the military.” Or you want to explain at the register that your purchases are actually gag gifts for someone at a party you’ve been invited to.

I could hardly look over the videos like I wanted to without checking over my shoulder every other second to be sure no one was watching me appear overly interested. When you’re picking out nipple rings, cock rings, vibrators and such, it’s easy enough to maintain a detached and bemused expression for anyone who might happen to pass by. Or you easily affect that one-eyebrow-raised suspicious and questioning look that says, “Oh yeah right, like I really believe this works like the description reads here.”

I have personally found that the half-smirk works well on almost every aisle. I’ve utilized this barely-disguised-ho-hum-I’m so-bored-and-above-this look whenever I’ve had to go in.  And I am convinced that it gives off the air of a person who rarely frequents such places and who is on the verge of leaving, but may stay oh, let’s say three more minutes, just to see if anything piques the interest…

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