No matter what your stance on premarital sex and in spite of all the pro-abstinence people and their campaigns I am a champion of not only having sex BEFORE marrying a particular candidate, but literally sleeping with them as well. Indeed, if it had not been for my commitment to this rule, I could very well have ended up with an involuntary farter for the rest of my life. That’s ‘til death do us part! And that, my friends is no laughing matter.
I have no complaints about the lovemaking with this dude named Perry. He was a rare jewel indeed. Ready, willing, and able to please on every level and in every room of the house; and selfish enough to insist on the occasional wham-bam-thank-you, ma’am that all women need in order to remain sexually fit and psychologically sound.
There was just this one problem that I never would have suspected. I mean, like WHO KNEW?
There we were, having crashed after the rather athletic sort of sexual work-out that was characteristic of our times together. A thin layer of perspiration covered our bodies and we had serene smiles on our faces as we drifted off into that sacred silent space called the afterglow. I knew we were both satisfied with having satisfied each other and felt self-satisfied at our individual performances. Then we drifted right off into a light afternoon nap.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but if you see me asleep, for heaven’s sake PLEASE do not wake me!
- WATCH: Canadian Ad Equates ‘Social Smoking’ to ‘Social Flatulence’ (newsfeed.time.com)
- Researchers warn of flatulence danger on planes (radionz.co.nz)
- Farts on a Plane (neatorama.com)
- A Reminder To Flatulent Workers That There is a Remedy For Flatulence… (prweb.com)