I totally lost count of how many orgasms I had faked before he finally gave in and faked one himself! Disgusting right? But oh, so full of poetic justice. I felt so cheated. Since when do MEN fake orgasms? And do they really think we are so stupid that we won’t know the difference?!
I never mentioned it to anyone and never even confessed my total disappointment in my own diary. Why? Simply because I was afraid that I was probably going to end up marrying him. To admit to myself that I was disgusted would have been to admit how insane it was to continue the relationship. And I really wanted to get married. You wouldn’t think so, given what I went through with my ex-husband…but oh, well the fantasy of being happily-ever-after married is not something a girl gives up on that easily.
I kept telling myself that it would be unforgivably shallow to break off a solid relationship because of sexual dissatisfaction. I told myself that God would surely help me be patient with him and would also help me not to fall into temptation due to unfulfillment.
Anyways, on a different night, we had been going at it again for more than half an hour. We were exhausted and sweaty and he had been promising for the last 5 or 6 minutes that he was close, that he was going to come. He had me sucking and biting his nipples, harder, harder. (Yet another detail that disgusted me beyond measure.) And then thankfully, mercifully, I heard this strange sound escape him almost like…painful surprise or maybe surprised pain of God only knows what and something so nearly femininely ecstatic that I recoiled, but too late.
Now he was cumming a constant stream, a gushing river, a disgusting sea of unexpected sperm like it had been locked up for 17 freaking years! It was blasting up the walls of my vagina, past my dilated cervix into my womb. Yes, I swear I felt it explode up into my open uterus (because I was on my period!)
No, I do not believe it’s a good idea to have sex while menstruating; it can only lead to the worst types of disasters and embarrassment…but that’s another story I’ll tell you about later.