Come out of the Closet (AND the correct bathroom, please!) part 3

Novelty urinals in a bar in Brighton. These ar...

Novelty urinals in a bar in Brighton. These are likely the Kisses! urinals by Dutch designer Meike van Schijndel. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Oh,” he said mechanically. Like that explained anything. “This always happens to me.” I raised a questioning eyebrow at that. “I was rushing so hard I didn’t even notice.” Yeah. Okay.

There was no denying it now, I had met my very first honest-to-goodness pervert. He was totally harmless and everything, but still it made you think: what kind of guy doesn’t want to BE a woman, nor wear women’s clothes, but just wants to hear and smell their farts and/or queefs?

So I’m thinking to myself: could I start a lucrative business making videos, or at least soundtracks for guys like that? What I mean is that I’m so NOT the police; I don’t care to monitor people’s sexual practices and preferences. However, I AM an enterprising sort of person, so if an honest dollar can be made, why not do it?

If more guys like him would be honest and in touch with themselves, they wouldn’t have to make up lame and insincere excuses when they are confronted. I think guys who like the sounds of women relieving themselves in the bathroom should just be able to come right out and say so. And who knows how that sort of honesty might bring a renewal of authenticity amongst all the earth’s inhabitants?

Not only that, but if a market like that opened up, so much money could be made, so many jobs could be generated that it’s mind-boggling to consider. Think about it. How many women do you know who not only take a dump once or twice a day, but also go pee at least once every couple of hours? Women all over the world from Botswana to Bolivia, from Perth to Prague. And that’s just women who are regular…

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