Frankly, my four-second silence was spent planning how much further I could let this go before I had to make my announcement about my period and everything.
I knew his thoughts would be about his live-in girlfriend and if this one-time event with me had the power to ruin everything he had worked so hard to build and maintain. I honored his silence. For all I know he could have been offering up a helpless prayer of pre-repentance to the Universe for what he thought he was about to do. Everyone is entitled to this moment. I would probably have been doing the same thing if I weren’t so focused on just how greedily and selfishly I wanted him any way I could have him. I blocked from my mind the thoughts about how I knew he was very satisfied with the woman in his life and that he had no more interest in falling in love with me that he had in, say, moving to Idaho to work on a potato farm.
I decided to play a nasty little game with him. (I’m good at that.) “I know what you must be thinking about me, but I swear I only wanted to invite you to lunch or maybe coffee and dessert to pay you back for the big favor you did for me. It’s a really big deal to me that someone like you would even bother to visit me,” I sighed with that same innocent look.
He raised his eyebrows at that and I knew this would be easy.
I went ahead and took out his ego and began to stroke it expertly and aggressively. “As a matter of fact I was talking about you at work yesterday with a friend of mine. About the good man that you are: intelligent, responsible, hardworking…handsome. And they way that I’ve had a huge crush on you since the first time I met you.”
“Oh, stop that,” he chided, pretending not to believe me.
And now I began to be shameless, jacking his ego off just as good as only he could have done for himself. “My friend asked me would I, could I possibly have an affair with you. Nooo, I told her. I’d love to be with him…but I couldn’t; he’s too good. He is one of those wonderful men that you only find once in a life-time. Honestly I admire him so much that I just couldn’t. That’s what I told her,” I concluded.
He considered that. Now I had him by the balls.