Butt-Ugly (or “Why Internet Dating is NOT for Me”) part 3

Online Dating Workshop

Online Dating Workshop (Photo credit: jay mann)

Because he was just so incredibly sweet I put up with him and I believed his daily lies about soliciting his children to help him out so he could get a picture onto the site. I believed him a week later when he said he wasn’t going to bother to put up a photo all now that we were an official couple and he had no desire to search for anyone. Why should he keep looking when he was convinced that I was the woman he’d been searching for all his life.

Don’t go criticizing my gullibility. After having been married for a couple of decades–and therefore OUTSIDE the dating arena– how was I supposed to know the tactics that men use?! I never would have imagined what easy prey I was to someone so suave like Robert. I eventually became a savvy internet dater, but that was after quite a few more unfortunate occurrences.

I’m a retired veteran now; retired from e-dating. But man, oh man I could give bus-loads of advice to young women who might otherwise be taken in by the underhanded, double-tongued, reverse-psychology using guys like Roberto. Can you believe he tricked me into thinking that he was going to be as knock-out handsome as his voice was mellow and smooth? How did he do it, you ask.

Easy. He used the old false modesty trick that was really not false modesty, but the plain truth. IMAGINE that. You would have fallen for it too, if a guy spent a significant amount of time winning your heart and soul and telling you everything you ever wanted to hear and sending you gifts by mail. You’ve been spending weeks now fending him off, saying it’s too soon to meet. And now he has you just where he wants you.

He is the one flips the script and becomes the procrastinator, the one making up excuses not to meet quite yet. You ask him why and he says, “I’m just worried.” And your heart skips a beat as you imagine the absolute worst: he is actually married and has just been playing you the whole time.

But no, it turns out that he’s afraid that he’s not good-looking enough to be with someone as perfect as you. OMG, your heart flies out sympathetically to meet him. You grow even in your own esteem of your noble self as you promise him that his looks are the least of your concerns and that you would never break things off with a man as wonderful as he is. BIG mistake. Now you are completely trapped by your own generosity.

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