Banana Split (or “Why I ran away Lickety Split!”) part 1

Banana, split to 3

Banana, split to 3 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There was this Puerto Rican guy I met who went by the name of Archangel. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: why would you waste time on a dude who is vain enough or delusional enough to refer to himself that way? Believe me, I ask myself this very question all the time.

The thing is that it wasn’t his real name; it was his handle on a certain internet dating site. Don’t go lecturing me! I will never under any circumstances fall into the trap of those singles’ dating web sites again, but this occurred before I had learned my lesson the hard way.

I was at home bored stiff because the guy who I was supposed to be seeing hadn’t called for his usual Friday Night Hook-up. I would show him. I knew how to go looking for my own fun. I was only online for a few minutes before I was completely upset for even bothering to log on to my unused account. In the very moment I was about to log out, I get kiss or wink or something from a brand new guy. “Why not?” I thought. And that was the beginning of sorrows.

One of his first comments was a very graphic one about what he’d like to do to me. No, I don’t remember word for word what he said, but it definitely involved chocolate and cream. I was as shocked as if I’d been blasted with a stun-gun and I felt very peculiar between my legs. Yeah, just like that.

You know me. I don’t generally fall for guys that come on that strong with the first thing that comes out of their mouth. But what he wrote was so explicitly disgusting and unimaginable, that my uterus started contracting even as my brain and other sensibilities stood aghast. Archangel was the first guy ever to leave me utterly speechless. In spite of everything inside me telling me to stop communication with this freak immediately, I found myself glued to my laptop screen.

One thought on “Banana Split (or “Why I ran away Lickety Split!”) part 1

  1. Pingback: Banana Split (or “Why I ran away Lickety Split”) part 3 | sexgonewrong

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