A Word to the Wise about Hair Extensions and Sex (part 1)

Found Wig On Pole

Found Wig On Pole (Photo credit: Is This Yours?)

I don’t usually do this (spread hearsay)…but this incident supposedly happened to someone who I don’t like very much doesn’t like me very much. So there. I’m not going to feel too badly about telling you something that can only benefit you:

People, there was a time when wigs, weaves and hairpieces were only for the elite and the movie stars. Well that day has long gone. I personally don’t use any such thing, but that’s only because I have lived long enough to be able to fully celebrate the wild beauty of the crop of hair on my head. But I don’t go around hating on people who want/need to add-a-tad. Hey, do what you love.

HOWEVER, if you are going to get a weave, please make sure it is sewn in and not glued. If you are going to get extensions as braids, for God’s sake, let the Africans do it for you, though in some places I’ve heard they charge nearly $200. And if you are going to wear a wig, fine! But PLEASE do not attempt sex with it on, lest your fate be like a girl I saw in an “el cheapo” porn flick once. Ok, I admit that I actually saw it twice, but ONLY because I couldn’t believe my eyes the first time the wig started sliding and then came falling completely off her head like the cascade of a waterfall! You have to see something like that twice.

So you’re asking yourself, why the heck didn’t they cut that out of the film?! HELLO, PEOPLE. I just told you it was an EL CHEAPO. So the “actors” tried to pretend not to be horrified and did their best to improvise around this ugly blooper. The dudes who were gang-banging her were like oh wow, this is soooo much more of a turn-on now that we are doing this totally bald chick. Thoroughly unconvincing.

If you think you’re going to be able to reach an orgasm after seeing guys do it with person who has obviously undergone chemo, THINK AGAIN. After seeing something like that two (or three) times I was just so grossed out that I felt tired and defeated.

Okay, so the point is that if you’re going to put extra hair on your head it should definitely be secured. PROFESSIONALLY secured. Want to know what can happen if you don’t? Good, keep reading.